I look back to the stories I’ve written and feedback I’ve gotten from reviewers, it seems that my strength lies in character relationships. This isn’t to say that my characters individually stand out by themselves, just that their relationships feel real. Or so they say.
Now, I am by no means an expert on this and I don’t claim to be. I just like to analyse the mechanics of writing and share what I have learned and hope that you may learn something from these, based on your own experiences too. The most interesting thing I notice, as I look back to these stories and comments, is that my romantic leads have a habit of stealing the show. Not my main characters, not my villains, but my romantic leads. I try to see why that is? Why do people find them more interesting than the POV characters whose heads they’re in? (The reason may well be that I write crappy POV characters, but for the purpose of this post, let’s pretend my romantic leads are just totally awesome, all right?) I try to see if there are tricks I keep revisiting over and over because they work and if so, what are they? I will keep adding to this post as I remember them but here are what I gathered so far:
1) They have their own want
Even though their main role is to charge the main character (MC)’s heart with electric volts, my romantic leads usually have their own story, one that may or may not be entwined with the MC’s in the book. Even if the MC is removed, the romantic leads have interesting enough juices that they may carry their own story and write their own books. Perhaps more so sometimes. I admit to have been influenced by authors such as Paulo Coelho and Jodi Picoult who seem to prefer to write from an observer’s point of view. In a way, my romantic leads may in fact be the main characters in the book, and my POV character is an observer learning from them. In any case, what does it mean? I think to make our romantic leads real, it is important to give them their own lives, their own wants, their own goals, separate from those of the MC’s of the book.
2) They are committed
Despite having their own stories, once the relationship has been established, they are committed to work towards the MC’s success and goals, sometimes at the cost of their own. I usually try not to have them do this because of love (because that’s cheesy) but other things like pride, honour, some external force, because their own lives depend on it, or even selfishness. We all know that relationships that start from rocky and dramatic basis will not last, but who cares. I prefer my fiction romances to start off that way. But the most important thing is that once the decision is made, these characters must be committed to it. And that earns them bonus points from the MC’s POV and ultimately the readers.
3) They’re not perfect
I read Pittacus Lore’s I Am Number Four and I apologise to those who love that book but I just could not STAND the way he described the romantic lead: “Smart, pretty, blond” Bleh. I don’t like my romantic leads perfect, in fact the more flawed they are the better. I tend to use a lot of dark past as a crutch: they carry loads of burden, or they harbour secrets not many people know about (and of course the MC will get to know them and that makes him or her special). They tend to have scars, inside and outside, and the MC gets to heal them somehow and vice versa. Yeah, a tad cliché if I write it out like this, but it seems to work with my audience. I think what I try to aim for is that they’re not perfect individually but they should feel perfect for each other.
4) They’re perfect for each other
Which leads me to this point. My main characters tend to be… outcasts or introverts (don’t know why I’m drawn to those types, easiest to write, I think), who don’t have excellent social skills and/or feel a tad intimidated by the world. My romantic leads tend to either understand and share this predicament or be total opposite, they become the MC’s voices, the MC’s strengths, the MC’s guidance, etc. The main thing here is that the romantic lead and the MC should compliment each other, they become… invincible when paired up, even though they may not stand out individually, if that makes sense at all? Try to look at the gaps in the MC’s character then fill them with the romantic lead’s strengths somehow. I think it works best if there doesn’t seem to be anyone else who can fit other than them, in each other.
5) They rock the main characters’ world
They don’t have to be hot as hell, six packs and perfect boobs don’t always work, but they better rock the MC’s world. Make them charming, I think that works best. There should be that chemistry, something specific about them that the MC just cannot resist: emotional and intellectual qualities work better, imho, but they have to be attractive specifically to the MC. Please note the difference between objective beauty and beauty to the eye of the beholder. I think it’s important that you make this difference clear and that the MCs recognize this.
That’s all I can think of at the moment. I’m sure they’re nothing groundbreaking you don’t know already, and I’m by no means a better writer than anyone! But I just like to share and hope these help you whenever you feel a tad lost as to how to haul these poor souls out (as they do tend to be buried beneath the rest of the characters, at least I’ve read many books in which the romantic leads just feel so dull I remember the rest of the cast better).
Anyway, I’m going to keep sharing things I learned in my writing journey, things that work and don’t for me. You may or may not agree with my analysis, but I hope you find something of use here to help you in your writing journey!
Erika says
Love this post. I’ll be studying and thinking about it for a long time :).
“We all know that relationships that start from rocky and dramatic basis will not last”
We do? I’d love to hear you elaborate on this. I’m not a rocky or dramatic person myself, but I think I can imagine situations where trauma and drama can weld two people together, Stockholm Syndrome-like, especially if those involved are used to chaos and are easily bored by peace and quiet. Seems to me that complementary dysfunctions could result in something of a stable union, even if it looks unbearably unbalanced from the outside. Maybe unhealthy, but not necessarily unhappy, y’know?
Not sure how I’d write about it sympathetically, though, unless it’s a story about loony-bin love-birds :\
fkurni says
Aww Eeeka 😀 Thanks for visiting here.
I think with that comment, I meant chaotic drama is conducive to meshing two souls in need together and you can never know if it’s heightened emotions that drive such bonding or something else. The test with all relationships lies in the maintenance of its balance, I suppose, through thick and thin and the boring bits in between. I think we spoke about this in our long conversations before, believing that it takes two to keep the sparks burning. Easier to do that, I think, when the sparks are fuelled by external as well as internal forces. The challenge is when the individuals have to make their own.
What do you think, Dr. Love? 😀
Erika says
What do you think, Dr. Love?
I think you should be sure to get a 2nd opinion… :p
you can never know if it’s heightened emotions that drive such bonding or something else. The test with all relationships lies in the maintenance of its balance…through thick and thin and the boring bits in between.
Hmmm, maintenance of some kind of balance, I would like to think so – we commit ourselves to relationships because we want something constant and stable, don’t we? Or is it all really based on the lightning of attraction, the fires of infatuation, and a desire to hang on to the memory of those feelings, even when they’re replaced by something more calm, less violent? Boredom and complacency can be just as deadly to love as drama and instability, I expect. In answer to this, you say that the spark must be kept alive, which I believe can be done with care, consideration, and thoughtfulness – make sure he knows that he still rocks your world like no one else possibly could; give her the undivided attention she needs and deserves – or that tender spark could be nearly blown out and then fanned into a newly desperate blaze with repeated cycles of cold shoulder/hot passion. Studies have shown it is that which is withheld that we value and crave much more than what is easily obtained, and that we can be easily trained to fall into and *stay* in this pattern of hope and despair. It mimics the early fever and painful uncertainty of infatuation, which is what most people picture when they think of love. It’s what most stories, songs, movies, *everything* that claims to portray ‘love’ is about. Not the steady, soft, carefully nurtured glow of consciously chosen loyalty, commitment, and enduring trust that may come after.
So I think we may be torn. We want the heat, the torment, the emotional tumult, because it’s exciting and breathtaking (they say that if you want to have a greater chance of falling in love with someone, run up a flight of stairs first, then you’ll be out of breath when you see them and connect the feeling with their presence. Really). But for the long run, we want something stable and dependable. We want an environment filled with trust and support where we can feel free to grow and explore. We want intimacy and bonding. We want to create a world with someone who is as devoted to it as we are.
But we’re not really told about that part. We’re not prepared for it, unless we go for religious counseling or marriage therapy, and too often that’s someone *else’s* idea of what a relationship should be. The songs and stories that surround us are all about heartbreak and longing. Torture and despair. Euphoria and physical passion. We don’t see the quiet intensity that flows beneath years of trial, error, mutual forgiveness and understanding. Maybe it’s because attraction and infatuation are so obvious and universal. Everyone’s been there. We can all relate to that roller-coaster ride. But not so the enduring relationship. Not everyone gets there. And those that do don’t always find it to be what they expect, if they expected anything at all. It just *is*. It’s what people *do*, right? So they just muddle through it as best they can, with no songs to sing or stories to tell, either because there’s nothing to sing about, or no one else could possibly understand such a personal, private world that exists only for and between two souls.
I think this just turned into one of those looooong conversations. Sowwie! 🙂
fkurni says
Sorry took me a while to get to this! Need time to mull it over, sweet, like always with your messages! 😀
I think everyone’s generally torn between passionate vs stable love, and there’s nothing wrong in including this in our stories: you may have a couple who want different things, or expect love to be like so but find it isn’t (and the isn’t can be as good), or maybe the goal can be to rekindle the sparks, I don’t know but I think that torn feeling is generally universal.
But… I’m trying to translate what you’re saying to writing an effective romance. We read a lot of stories that deal with the emotional roller-coaster ride we all associate with love because it is easy to make the energy, the heat, the passion spark off the pages with it. How do we write an engaging romance (or any story with romantic subplots) with the calm, stable, and steady sort? What elements of such relationship will allow your characters and their relationship to spark as brightly and sway your heart as forcefully?
I can think of three at the moment:
1) Humour
I am always drawn to stories where the couple use humour to strengthen their bond. They may share private jokes only they understand. They may affectionately insult each other. They may tease and prod and use their in-laws as punching bags. I don’t know. I think in novels, humour works best in any relationship, but to portray steady, calm, and stable ones, you can go deeper to show that even after all those years, they still have loads of fun.
2) Mutual Psychic (you come up with a better term, Erika!)
I always love it when husband and wife finish each other’s sentences, or anticipate what the other will do through body language alone. Silence conversations make the best portrayal (evidence) of a strong, firm, and steady long-term relationship. Then there’s also that secret sign language partners share. I know I do the SCOWL whenever I try to protect my husband from saying something he will regret later. Doesn’t always work, but wouldn’t it be nice if it does for our characters? haha
3) Empathic mirrors (bleh, I’m all for awful terms today, sorry)
Not sure how to describe it but it’s something like when you know someone long enough, inside and out, you start to look like them? :p well, I’m not claiming we should start describing our characters as twins just to show that they’ve an established relationship but I’m talking more emotionally and even the ability to sense the other–where they are at any given time, feel their pain when they are in pain, know and highlight their strengths when they doubt themselves, know and highlight their weaknesses when they’re blinded by desperation or arrogance. Granted, you probably still need some sort of conflict in the plot to bring all these out, but still, you may even show in their conversations, or they may even team up to help others and use the power of their calm and steady love to trump a common enemy. *shrug*
So in summary, I don’t think we always have to rely on that roller-coaster love and relationship in stories to make our characters spark and stories engaging; calm, steady, stable love can shine as well, or even more in most cases.
What other elements can you think of that may work in advocating calm and steady love?
Erika says
Lovely and thoughtful response as always :).
Yes, I think we are torn between a longing for the passionate and a desire for the stable, and there can certainly be some good narrative tension in that. My goal would be to see if it’s possible to portray the stability without sacrificing the passion and vice-versa. Perhaps it’s more likely a see-saw thing than two states that can be sustained simultaneously. Long stretches of warm, soupy luvvie-duvvie, interspersed with dashes of emotional extremes and desperate longing.
Though to be fair to the loving couple, seems to me the spark that ignites the renewed passion should be struck by something outside the relationship – otherwise the stability comes across as something of a sham. If one or the other of them keeps springing surprises, or unexpectedly redefining the nature of their bond, that leads to uncertainty, anxiety, and erosion of trust. (Q: what about natural changes and individual growth?)
As it is, I think most traditional romances rely on a combination of internal and external conflict to keep things hot and steamy. ‘Gone With The Wind’ wouldn’t have been much of a story without the whole Civil War thing going on – even with characters as fiery and unpredictable as Scarlett and Rhett. (Q: would there be any way to make Ashley & Melanie’s story a page-turner? Huge things happen to them, but is their romance simply too bland?)
So is it possible to have the love-story be central when the devotion and commitment of the lovers is long-standing and unquestioned? I think so. I think I’ve seen it done, though most of the examples that come to mind still occur early in the relationship when the mutual nature of their affections is still not public knowledge, and the ultimate success of their union remains in constant doubt (Romeo & Juliet for a tragic example, Melanie Rawn’s ‘Dragon Prince’ for a happy one). So I expect we need some drastic external threat to the relationship that allows us highlight its beauty and importance. Then it becomes our job to make the reader *care* about what might be lost. (Q: difference in appeal of stories that hang on a bittersweet ‘might-have-been’ vs. threatening destruction of something already tried and true? Is the latter more harsh and difficult to watch?)
Your list of intimacy-revealers is lovely. I’m not sure if I can come up with any better names for what you describe :). Though I think these things can happen over enduring friendships as well (Frodo & Samwise?), so as you say in #5 of your first list, it’s important to put emphasis on the continuing attraction, even if they are both as bent and gnarled as two old apple trees. Make it clear that in the eye of the lover, the beauty of the beloved only increases, like that movie ‘The Enchanted Cottage’, where the two plain, scarred lovers couldn’t see the flaws that everyone else saw. Hmmm, maybe there is a need for a little of that sort of delusion for a love to last forever :).