So, this is the worst part.

Waiting, listening, thinking, stifling while your precious creation gets torn apart by the world… even if it’s made of wonderful test readers (that’s what they should be called apparently because beta readers expect complete polished stories a step away from publication, which mine isn’t!).

So far, the reactions have been generally positive *phew* though not all so and not without hiccups. I’ve two who dropped out (one scarce anywhere near the meat of the story *shrug* It’s a scary thought) but the other four continuing on strong, even through crap and trinkets, they keep their faith in me. I am blessed with patient and loving friends… who write *hugs*

There are some major issues I need to work on, however, the biggest is the potrayal of my main character’s bitterness which did not seem to come across as well as planned. It is very difficult to write an angry character without the usual angst (yeah those of you who know me, I’ve plenty of that normally), but I was aiming for a different kind with her, one that’s bottled up inside which she isn’t quite aware yet. She should be uptight and awkward, defensive even to the audience, and I want her to come across as if she takes no nonsense from anyone, but a few came back with comments like “she’s warm and so easy to trust.” She isn’t! Not yet! But I don’t want her to come across moody either, or brooding, no none of that.

This is a book about her character journey. If the starting point doesn’t work, then that’s something I’ve to really fix. And I love her It hurts a little when others seem to like the blue giant more.

Faziel… is a major hit. Good for him, though he can be a bit of an airhead sometimes *shake head* I adore him myself, and I think perhaps too much. He sparkles brighter than my girl right now. I’ve to work on that.

In any case, between all of us, I have managed to chop about 17K since the first draft. In fact if we count the draft before the first (what do you call that one when you just write according to your outline? :p) of 200K, my excess came to 40K. 40K! Can you believe it? That’s crazy, isn’t it? I think it’s crazy! I’m terribly quiet in real life but apparently not on paper.

Some of it hurt real bad, though, but I keep all that I chop tucked away safely. Recycable.

I want to thank you all who persist with me. I hope I don’t disappoint, even if I do, I hope you forgive me and help me with the fixing. I’m trying. I really am and I’m glad some of you think it’s worth it.

*hugs*