Master of none.
What does it mean to be good at many things but never best at one? Which do you prefer: to have one expertise that defines you or know enough of everything to get by?
I don’t know. I wish sometimes to be able to passionately declare: “I want to be a writer!” and spend all my time, energy and effort on this dream. Probably more likely too for me to subsequently reach this dream, as it becomes a passion I’d know so well and want to strive for to the end. But on the other hand, to know many things is fantastic especially for a control-freak such as myself. I get to do everything my way and on my own.
Sometimes I do feel as though my life is surrounded by doors, each leading to a separate room, all representing sections of my passions. There is the writers’ door, the artist’s door, the musician’s door, even the boring Lydia door which leads to my quiet, non-disruptive and politically correct persona most people know me as. (Ha!) Then sometimes I wish I could be one large living room where I know every single object in it in detail and with great familiarity. Simpler. Easier. Greater certainty in the direction for which I need to take with my life.
A girl at work recently quit her job to pursue her dream: to be a dancer. My reaction was wow, would I quit my job to pursue… and here, I paused: what? what would I pursue? What IS my dream? Last year I wanted to publish a book. This year, I wanted to tell visual stories. Who knows what I will want next year: to be a rock star?
And here I am, with my novel sitting in limbo; my artwork sold for a pfft $3.09; and my music suspected art theft by Youtube… which path should I choose? My target audience, my fans, my friends, are they the same or different? Can they appreciate my writing as well as my art? My music as well as my words?
Does it have to always be one or the other? How do I maximise what I know, what I have, what I can be great at?
How about you? I know a lot of you are like me too. How do you choose which path to venture when you want them all?